Pinky, Are you pondering what I'm ponderin?

* "I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?"
* "I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?"
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels."
* "Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?"
* "Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... ooh, it's all too much for me."
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?"
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so."
* "Sure, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size?"
* "Uh, I think so, Brain, but we'll never get a monkey to use dental floss."
* "Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu."
* "I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so."
* "I think so, Brain, but if we covered the world in salad dressing wouldn't the aspargus feel left out?"
* "I think so, Brain, but if they called them 'Sad Meals', kids wouldn't buy them!"
* "I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?"
* "I think so, Brain, but what would Pippi Longstocking look like with her hair straight?"
* "I think so, Brain, but this time you put the trousers on the chimp."
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish."
* "I think so, Brain, but there's still a bug stuck in here from last time."
* "Uh, I think so, Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent."
* "I think so, Brain, but I don't think Kaye Ballard's in the union."
* "Yes, I am!"
* "I think so, Brain, but, the Rockettes? I mean, it's mostly girls, isn't it?"
* "I think so, Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby."
* "Well, I think so -POIT- but where do you stick the feather and call it macaroni?"
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but pantyhose are so uncomfortable in the summertime."
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but it's a miracle that this one grew back."
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but first you'd have to take that whole bridge apart, wouldn't you?"
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but 'apply North Pole' to what?"
* "I think so, Brain, but 'Snowball for Windows'?"
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but snort no, no, it's too stupid!"
* "Umm, I think so, Don Cerebro, but, umm, why would Sophia Loren do a musical?"
* "Umm, I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?"
* "I think so, Brain, but isn't that why they invented tube socks?"
* "Well, I think so Brain, but what if we stick to the seat covers?"
* "I think so Brain, but if you replace the 'P' with an 'O', my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?"
* "Oooh, I think so Brain, but I think I'd rather eat the Macarena."
* "Well, I think so hiccup, but Kevin Costner with an English accent?"
* "I think so, Brain, but don't you need a swimming pool to play Marco Polo?"
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but do I really need two tongues?"
* "I think so, Brain, but we're already naked."
* Brain: We eat the box?
* "Well, I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"
* "I think so, Brain NARF, but don't camels spit a lot?"
* "I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?"
* "I think so, Brain, but Pete Rose? I mean, can we trust him?"
* "I think so, Brain, but why would Peter Bogdanovich?"
* "I think so, Brain, but isn't a cucumber that small called a gherkin?"
* "I think so, Brain, but if we get Sam Spade, we'll never have any puppies."
* "I think so, Larry, and um, Brain, but how can we get seven dwarves to shave their legs?"
* "I think so, Brain, but calling it pu-pu platter? Huh, what were they thinking?"
* "I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?"
* "I think so, Brain, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?"
* "I think so, Brain, but I am running for mayor of Donkeytown and Tuesdays are booked." From an early Kids' WB intro.
* "I think so, Brain, but if we had a snowmobile, wouldn't it melt before summer?"
* "I think so, Brain, but what kind of rides do they have in Fabioland?"
* "I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?"
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?"
* "I think so, Brain, but three round meals a day wouldn't be as hard to swallow."
* "I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?"
* "Umm, I think so, Brain, but three men in a tub? Ooh, that's unsanitary!"
* "Yes, but why does the chicken cross the road, huh, if not for love? I do not know."
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but I prefer Space Jelly."
* "Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?"
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but how will we get three pink flamingos into one pair of Capri pants?"
* Snowball: "Oh Brain, I certainly hope so."
* "I think so, Brain, but Tuesday Weld isn't a complete sentence."
* "I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want to see Snow White and the Seven Samurai?"
* Pinky: I think so, Brain, but then my name would be Thumby.
Brain: In a perfect world, your name would be Dummy!
* "I think so, Brain, but I find scratching just makes it worse."
* "I think so, Brain, but shouldn't the bat boy be wearing a cape?"
* "I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tongue?"
* "Um, I think so, Brainie, but why would anyone want to Pierce Brosnan?"
* "Methinks so, Brain, verily, but dost thou think Pete Rose by any other name would still smell as sweaty?"
* "I think so, Brain, but wouldn't his movies be more suitable for children if he was named Jean-Claude van Darn?"
* "Wuh, I think so, Brain, but will they let the Cranberry Duchess stay in the Lincoln Bedroom?"
* "I think so, Brain, but why does a forklift have to be so big if all it does is lift forks?"
* "I think so, Brain, but if it was only supposed to be a three hour tour, why did the Howells bring all their money?"
* "I think so, Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel."
* "I think so, Brain, but if we have nothing to fear but fear itself, why does Eleanor Roosevelt wear that spooky mask?"
* "I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won't wear the beach thong?"
* "Um, I think so, Brain-2, but a show about two talking lab mice? Hoo! It'll never get on the air."
* "I think so, Brain, but Lederhosen won't stretch that far."
* "Yeah, but I thought Madonna already had a steady bloke!"
* "I think so, Brain, but what would goats be doing in red leather turbans?"
* "I think so, Brain... but how would we ever determine Sandra Bullock's shoe size?"
* "Yes, Brain, I think so. But how do we get Twiggy to pose with an electric goose?"
* Pinky: I think so, Brain. But if I put on two tutu's, would I really be wearing a four-by-four?
Brain: Why do I even bother asking?
Pinky: I dunno, Brain. Maybe it's all part of some huge, cosmic plot formula!
* "I think so, Brain, but wouldn't mustard make it sting?"
* "I think so, Brain, but can you use the word 'asphalt' in polite society?"
* Pinky: I think so, Brain! (Sprays his breath)
Brain: Er... then again, let's not let our enthusiasm overwhelm us!
* "I think so, Mr. Brain, but if the sun'll come out tomorrow, what's it doing right now?"
* "I think so, Brain, but aren't we out of shaving cream?"
* "Oh yes, Brain! Remind me to tape all our phone calls!"
* "Um, I think so, Brain, but I hear Hillary is the jealous type."
* "I think so, Brain, but Madonna's stock is sinking."
* "I think so, Brain. But does 'Chunk o' Cheesy's' deliver packing material?"
* "I think so, Brainwulf, but if we're Danish, where's the cream cheese? Narf!"
* "I think so, Bwain, but I don't think newspaper will fit in my underoos."
* "Uh, I think so, Brain--but after eating newspaper all day, do I really need the extra fiber?"
* "I think so, Brain! But isn't a dreadlock hair extension awfully expensive?"
* "I think so, Brain. But will anyone other than Eskimos buy blubber-flavored chewing gum?"
* "I think so, Brain, but the ointment expired weeks ago!"
* "I think so, Brain. But would the villains really have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those pesky kids and their dog?"
* "Uh, I think so Brain, but how are we gonna teach a goat to dance with flippers on?"
* "Wuhh... I think so, Brain! But let's use safflower oil this time! It's ever so much healthier!"
* "Wuh... I think so, Brain. But Cream of Gorilla Soup—well, we'd have to sell it in awfully big cans, wouldn't we?"
* "I think so, Brain. But if he left chocolate bullets instead of silver, they'd get all runny and gooey!"
* "Yes, Brain, I think so, but do nuts go with pudding?"
* "I think so, Brain, but a codpiece made from a real fish would get smelly after a while, wouldn’t it?"
* "I think... so, Brain... *gag* ...but I didn't know Annette used peanut butter in that way."
* "I think so, Brain, but do those roost in this neighborhood?"
* "I think so, Brain, but is the world ready for angora bellbottoms? I mean I can see wearing them inside out, but that would--"
* "I think so, Commander Brain from Outer Space! But do we have time to grease the rockets?"
* "I think so, Doctor. But are these really the legs of a show girl?"
* "Whuh... I think so, Brain. But this time I get to play the dishwasher repairman!"
* "I think so, Brainius. But what if a sudden wind were to blow up my toga?"
* "I think so, Brain. But Trojans won’t arrive on the scene for another 300 years."
* "I think so, Brain... but where would a yak put PVC tubing?"
* "Whuh... I think so, Brain, but... but if Charlton Heston doesn't eat Soylent Green, what will he eat?"
* Pinky: (talking to his reflection in the mirror) Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky's Reflection: Why, yes, Pinky! Yes, I am! But where would you get a chicken, 20 yards of spandex and smelling salts at this hour?
* "I think so, Brain, but Ben Vereen never answered our proposition."
* "I think so, Brain, but wouldn't an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow polka-dot one-piece be better suited for my figure?"
* "I think so, Brain, but won't it go straight to my hips?!"
* "I think so, Ali-Brain! But isn't it cheating to use glue?"
* "Whuu... I think so, BrainPan! But if running shoes had little feet, wouldn't they need their own shoes?"
* "I think so, Brain. But what if the Earl of Essex doesn't like burlap pantaloons?"
* "I think so, Brain, but should we use dishwashing liquid or cooking oil?"
* Pinky: I think so, Brain! We'll dress up like biker dudes and infiltrate the "Hades Ladies." Then we'll convince them to hold a meeting inside the corn palace. Narf! The resulting carbon-monoxide buildup will allow you to complete your energy-making device and shortly after, you will rule the world!
Brain: Actually, I was thinking of calling the police. But I like your idea better!
Pinky: I’m honored, Brain... er, what was my idea again?
* Pinky: (holding one of the pointy pieces from Sorry! and the bottle of Slick 'n Slide) I think so, Br...
Brain: [shuts Pinky's mouth] No, on second thought, don’t tell me... I don't think they allow that in a book with the Comics Code.
* "I think so, Brain, but would Danish flies work just as well?"
* "We think so, Brain! But dressing like twins is so tacky."
* "I think so, Brain, but practicing docking procedures with a goat at zero G's—it's never been done!"
* "I think so, Brain! But shouldn't we let the silk worms finish the boxer shorts before we put them on?"
* "I think so, Brain! You draw the bath and I'll fetch the alka-seltzers and candles!"
* "I think so, Brain. But the real trick will be getting Demi Moore out of the creamed corn!"
* "Wuhhh... I think so, Brain, but if a ham can operate a radio, why can't a pig set a VCR?"
* "I think so, Brain, you'd think [Lyndon Johnson would] have left room for baby-kissing, wouldn't you?"
* "I think so, Brain! But won't Mr. Hoover notice a missing evening gown?"
* "I think so, Brain! But what's the use of having a heart-shaped tattoo if it's going to be covered by hair?"
* [Snowball has used his Visual Transmogrifier to make himself look like Brain and has encased an iron mask on Brain's head, claiming him to be his (Brain's) visiting cousin, Clement.]
Snowball/Brain: Listen, Pinky--Clement's a little tired. Let's go take over the world while he rests.
Pinky: Sure, Brain--but aren't you going to ask me somethin'?
Snowball/Brain: Eh? Ask you what?
Pinky: You know, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Snowball/Brain: That depends, what are you pondering?
Pinky: Me? Well, actually, I was pondering which was more exciting, hand or foot pumps. Narf!
Snowball/Brain: I see...no, I wasn't pondering that...
Pinky: Um...
Snowball/Brain: Does that answer your question?
Pinky: Which question?
Snowball/Brain: [visibly annoyed] Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain! But I can't decide which is more exciting...
Snowball/Brain: Hand or foot pumps, narf! Yes, you said that already!
Pinky: Oh... right... Poit!
* "I think so, Brain, but couldn't the constant use of a henna rinse lead to premature baldness?"
* "I think so, Brain. Just make sure we don't swallow each other's bubbles!"
* "I think so, Brain! But ruby-studded stockings would be mighty uncomfortable wouldn't they?"
* "I think so, Brain, but if I have my portrait drawn, will we have time to make it to the lifeboats?"
* "I think so, Brain! But is Chippendale's ready for 'The Full Pinky?'"
* Snowball: Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Brain?
Brain: There's a 99.7% probability that I am, Snowball!
* "I think so, Brain! But do I have what it take to be the 'Lord of the Dance'?"
* "I think so, Brain! How much deeper would the ocean be if there weren't sponges down there?"
* "Oh, I think so, Brain! But doing a clog dance in actual clogs will give me awful blisters."
* "I think so, Brain, but nose rings are kinda passé by now."
* "I think so, Brain, but where are we going to get a trained octopus at this time of night?"
* "I think so, Brain! But no more eels in jelly for me, thanks—I like my gelatin after lunch."
* "I think so, Brain, but I didn’t know 90210 was a real zip code! Will Tori be there?"
* Pinky: Narf! I think so, Brain, but what if the Telechubbies don't fight fair?
Elmyra: Ewwww, that would be bad!
* "I think so, Brain. But even if we found a tuxedo to fit a blowfish, who would marry it?"
* "Um, no, Cranky Mouseykin, not even in the story you made up."
* "I think so, but where is a fish?"
* Brain: "You pondering what I'm pondering?" I asked Pinky on the sly. "Well, I think so, Brain," he muttered. "But my feet taste better buttered." Then I grimaced and I shuddered at his typical reply.
* "I think so, Brain. But if Pinocchio were carved out of bacon it wouldn't be the same story, would it?"
* "Um, I think so, Brain, but wasn't Dicky Ducky released on his own recognaissance?"
* "I think so, Brain, but Pepper Ann makes me sneeze."
* "I think so, Brain. But suppose we do the hokey pokey and turn ourselves around, is that what it's really all about?"
* (sung) "I think so, Brain, but just how will we get the weasel to hold still?"
* "I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
* "I think so, Brain, but instant karma's always so lumpy."
* [Upon looking for safe passage through colonial India...]
Pinky: Well, I think so, Brain, but... no, it's too stupid.
Brain: We shall disguise ourselves as a cow!
Pinky: Narf, Brain! That was it exactly!
* [Unused one]
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but she'd never leave Mickey.
Brain: I thought we agreed never to discuss that!


* "Uh, I think so Brain2, but a show about two talking lab mice? It'll never get on the air.

And for a change:

* Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Whoof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
Brain: True.
Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
Brain: To my knowledge, never.
Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
Brain: Next to nil.
Pinky: Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
Brain: Therefore, you are pondering what I'm pondering.
Pinky: Poit, I guess I am!

Deep thoughts by Jack Handey

Some of my favorite deep thoughts of the legend..............Post some of your favorites...

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I wish outer space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets cause I would really like one of those little basket beds with my name on it.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I carve a jack o lantern.

Then I take the jack o lantern to the persons house I want to kill. Then I put a knife in the jack o lantern with a note that says "you."

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of us died of tuberculosis.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe
you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey,
free dummy.


I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I
bet you can really see it in those genitals

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here looking through your stuff.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.

“Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.”

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he
made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she
disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to
dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he
told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is
"God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to
tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take
my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He
cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty
good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was
getting pretty late.

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world
is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding
on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think
liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong,
though. It's Hambone.


Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what
her dinner tasted like.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school
we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one
of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a
bear.


We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we
wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he
picked up in town.

When walking in the woods, I found a skull. While waiting for the sheriff to arrive, I thought, who was this person, what was their life like, and how did they get those deer horns?

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his
head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

If god dwells inside us like some people say, then I hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.


If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Mosque Opponents can start reading here

(The) United States “gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens”—George Washington offered a benediction:May the children of the stock of Abraham, who dwell in this land, continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other inhabitants, while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree and there shall be none to make him afraid.
George Washington wrote this letter to the jews, (children of Abraham). Muslims and anyone living legally in our country deserves the same respect, liberties and freedoms. It IS in OUR constitution, bet on it.
Oh, by the way...while we are on the subject, the owners of the(soon to be) new Mosque...Like many New Yorkers, the people in charge of Park51, a married couple, are from somewhere else—he from Kuwait, she from Kashmir. Feisal Abdul Rauf is a Columbia grad. He has been the imam of a mosque in Tribeca for close to thirty years. He is the author of a book called “What’s Right with Islam Is What’s Right with America.” He is a vice-chair of the Interfaith Center of New York. “My colleagues and I are the anti-terrorists,” he wrote recently—in the Daily News, no less. He denounces terrorism in general and the 9/11 attacks in particular, often and at length. The F.B.I. tapped him to conduct “sensitivity training” for agents and cops. His wife, Daisy Khan, runs the American Society for Muslim Advancement, which she co-founded with him. It promotes “cultural and religious harmony through interfaith collaboration, youth and women’s empowerment, and arts and cultural exchange.”Pretty scary. Leading the pack of scaredy-cats, along with Palin(squirrel brain), was her fellow Presidential mentionee Newt Gingrich(hippo brain...na maggot brain..apparently), a leading intellectual light(or farce) of the Republican Party. Nothing wrong with the rep party, they just have some screwy leaders, but so do the dems....According to Gingrich, Park51 is “an assertion of Islamist triumphalism,” part of “an Islamist cultural-political offensive designed to undermine and destroy our civilization.” Those who think it’s O.K. are “apologists for radical Islamist hypocrisy” who “argue that we have to allow the construction of this mosque in order to prove America’s commitment to religious liberty.” Gingrich argues for proving our devotion to religious liberty by taking it hostage: “There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia.” And these are the people you listen to...I hope u don't, but some of u probably do.
Bring the criticism. I know you got something...

Epiphany Stuff

1. You are not your mind.The first time I heard somebody say that, I didn’t like the sound of it one bit. What else could I be? I had taken for granted that the mental chatter in my head was the central “me” that all the experiences in my life were happening to.I see quite clearly now that life is nothing but passing experiences, and my thoughts are just one more category of things I experience. Thoughts are no more fundamental than smells, sights and sounds. Like any experience, they arise in my awareness, they have a certain texture, and then they give way to something else.If you can observe your thoughts just like you can observe other objects, who’s doing the observing? Don’t answer too quickly. This question, and its unspeakable answer, are at the center of all the great religions and spiritual traditions.

2. Life unfolds only in moments.Of course! I once called this the most important thing I ever learned. Nobody has ever experienced anything that wasn’t part of a single moment unfolding. That means life’s only challenge is dealing with the single moment you are having right now. Before I recognized this, I was constantly trying to solve my entire life — battling problems that weren’t actually happening. Anyone can summon the resolve to deal with a single, present moment, as long as they are truly aware that it’s their only point of contact with life, and therefore there is nothing else one can do that can possibly be useful. Nobody can deal with the past or future, because, both only exist as thoughts, in the present. But we can kill ourselves trying.

3. Quality of life is determined by how you deal with your moments, not which moments happen and which don’t.I now consider this truth to be Happiness 101, but it’s amazing how tempting it still is to grasp at control of every circumstance to try to make sure I get exactly what I want. To encounter an undesirable situation and work with it willingly is the mark of a wise and happy person. Imagine getting a flat tire, falling ill at a bad time, or knocking something over and breaking it — and suffering nothing from it. There is nothing to fear if you agree with yourself to deal willingly with adversity whenever it does show up. That is how to make life better. The typical, low-leverage method is to hope that you eventually accumulate power over your circumstances so that you can get what you want more often. There’s an excellent line in a Modest Mouse song, celebrating this side-effect of wisdom: As life gets longer, awful feels softer.

4. Most of life is imaginary.Human beings have a habit of compulsive thinking that is so pervasive that we lose sight of the fact that we are nearly always thinking. Most of what we interact with is not the world itself, but our beliefs about it, our expectations of it, and our personal interests in it. We have a very difficult time observing something without confusing it with the thoughts we have about it, and so the bulk of what we experience in life is imaginary things. As Mark Twain said: “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” The best treatment I’ve found? Cultivating mindfulness.

5. Human beings have evolved to suffer, and we are better at suffering than anything else.Yikes. It doesn’t sound like a very liberating discovery. I used to believe that if I was suffering it meant that there was something wrong with me — that I was doing life “wrong.” Suffering is completely human and completely normal, and there is a very good reason for its existence. Life’s persistent background hum of “this isn’t quite okay, I need to improve this,” coupled with occasional intense flashes of horror and adrenaline are what kept human beings alive for millions of years. This urge to change or escape the present moment drives nearly all of our behavior. It’s a simple and ruthless survival mechanism which works exceedingly well for keeping us alive, but it has a horrific side effect: human beings suffer greatly by their very nature. This, for me, redefined every one of life’s problems as some tendril of the human condition. As grim as it sounds, this insight is liberating because it means: 1) that suffering does not necessarily mean my life is going wrong, 2) that the ball is always in my court, so the degree to which I suffer is ultimately up to me, and 3) that all problems have the same cause and the same solution.

6. Emotions exist to make us biased.This discovery was a complete 180 from my old understanding of emotions. I used to think my emotions were reliable indicators of the state of my life — of whether I’m on the right track or not. Your passing emotional states can’t be trusted for measuring your self-worth or your position in life, but they are great at teaching you what it is you can’t let go of. The trouble is that emotions make us both more biased and more forceful at the same time. Another survival mechanism with nasty side-effects.

7. All people operate from the same two motivations: to fulfill their desires and to escape their suffering.Learning this allowed me to finally make sense of how people can hurt each other so badly. The best explanation I had before this was that some people are just bad. What a cop-out. No matter what kind of behavior other people exhibit, they are acting in the most effective way they are capable of (at that moment) to fulfill a desire or to relieve their suffering. These are motives we can all understand; we only vary in method, and the methods each of us has at our disposal depend on our upbringing and our experiences in life, as well as our state of consciousness. Some methods are skillful and helpful to others, others are unskillful and destructive, and almost all destructive behavior is unconscious. So there is no good and evil, only smart and dumb (or wise and foolish.) Understanding this completely shook my long-held notions of morality and justice.

8. Beliefs are nothing to be proud of.Believing something is not an accomplishment. I grew up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they’re really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because “strength of belief” is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you’ve made it a part of your ego. Listen to any “die-hard” conservative or liberal talk about their deepest beliefs and you are listening to somebody who will never hear what you say on any matter that matters to them — unless you believe the same. It is gratifying to speak forcefully, it is gratifying to be agreed with, and this high is what the die-hards are chasing. Wherever there is a belief, there is a closed door. Take on the beliefs that stand up to your most honest, humble scrutiny, and never be afraid to lose them.

9. Objectivity is subjective.Life is a subjective experience and that cannot be escaped. Every experience I have comes through my own, personal, unsharable viewpoint. There can be no peer reviews of my direct experience, no real corroboration. This has some major implications for how I live my life. The most immediate one is that I realize I must trust my own personal experience, because nobody else has this angle, and I only have this angle. Another is that I feel more wonder for the world around me, knowing that any “objective” understanding I claim to have of the world is built entirely from scratch, by me. What I do build depends on the books I’ve read, the people I’ve met, and the experiences I’ve had. It means I will never see the world quite like anyone else, which means I will never live in quite the same world as anyone else — and therefore I mustn’t let outside observers be the authority on who I am or what life is really like for me. Subjectivity is primary experience — it is real life, and objectivity is something each of us builds on top of it in our minds, privately, in order to explain it all. This truth has world-shattering implications for the roles of religion and science in the lives of those who grasp it.http://www.raptitude.com/2010/10/9-mind ... e.me_AV3k9

Some of these are things I have considered but not the way this person presents it and some I had never really considered at all really, but almost all of them gave me serious food for thought. I actually printed it out and put it on my cube wall so I read it every once in a while. Some of the interpretations are a little odd for me, but I'm going to chew on them for a while and see what comes of it.

I hope some of you found it interesting too

4 Brilliant Remarks From History’s Wisest American

taken from a guy named David...



If I have a hero, it’s Ralph Waldo Emerson.  He represents to me humanity’s potential: wise, self-reliant, honest, unencumbered by conformity, and able to enjoy every little detail of life as if they were all miracles.
He possessed the hallmark of a human being ahead of his time: he was hailed as a genius and simultaneously reviled as a subvert.  His views were radical for his era, but his wisdom could not be denied, even by his detractors.  Even Herman Melville, author and professed Emerson-hater, later described him as “a great man.”
I am convinced that all of the secrets to personal peace and freedom reside within the ideas recorded in Emerson’s essays and lectures.  His eloquence is well-known from his famous quotations, yet most people today would find a full essay of his to be too verbose to digest in one sitting, if at all.
Perhaps this is why he is so widely quoted and so scarcely read.  His works are full of difficult metaphors and archaic phrases that would require everyday people like you and me to really slow our eyes down from their normal scanning pace, and give ourselves plenty of moments to pause and think.  Perhaps this is a good habit to develop anyway.
It’s worth the effort.  I think the man is one of humanity’s greatest offerings to the world.  His writing has effected a personal transformation in myself and who knows how many others in the two hundred years his ideas have been around.  His writings are so altogether profound that I wonder why humanity still lags so far behind him.  I suppose his difficult writing style has something to do with it.

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.“

A person’s opinion of the world they live in really seems to be a foolproof litmus test for their strength of character.  The tendency towards blame and disdain seems to vary inversely with the virtues of courage and compassion.
The wisest people I know invariably revere the world, and the most ineffective ones hate it.  For a while now I’ve believed that cynicism about the world is a method of defense against one’s one inadequacy.  When a person is defeated at every turn, they tend to peg the whole world as the culprit.  This relieves them from the painful responsibilities of humility and growth.
I have been on both sides.  Knowing the world as an enemy removes responsibility for oneself.  Behaving and speaking as though the world is against you is only a clever way of abandoning any accountability for the state of your life and the world you live in.   Knowing the world as an ally instead of an adversary leaves no room for excuses.
I now recognize disdain for the world as sure sign of weakness, not just when I see it in others but also when I catch myself thinking that way.  Whenever I’m caught up disparaging this or that, it’s a clear message to any astute observer that in that moment, I’ve lost my composure and maturity.
If you want to know if a person is a suitable teammate, lover, boss or employee, pay attention to their opinion of the world.  It reveals all.  Try it and see.

“There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.“

No matter how unassuming we are, a person’s appearance triggers certain assumptions that we aren’t even aware of.  In any first encounter with a person, the brain involuntarily makes connections between the person’s looks and their social standing, income level, education, intelligence, trustworthiness, physical capability, values and worth.
We cannot keep track of all the assessments our brain is making behind the scenes, so it makes sense to assume that some part of your initial impression is certainly wrong, and you don’t know which part.  Sometimes we are too trusting of new people, other times too dismissive.
If you really think about it, a first impression can never be accurate.  First impressions consist only of a few details that jump out at you, and the interpretations your mind makes of them.  So much just cannot be seen, let alone interpreted with fairness and without assumption.  A whole person is far more complex a territory than can be mapped out in a single encounter.
Take a moment and think of a few of your long-time friends.  Can you remember the moment you first met them, and the impression you got?
Without a doubt, in that moment, your brain told you a few things about them that turned out to be wrong.

“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.“

Emerson was an open critic of the academic culture of his time.  He reasoned there was too much emphasis on deferring to the masters, and too little on self-reliance.  A prolific academic himself, he was tired of listening to young Ivy-League men talking his ear off about religion and philosophy without using any of their own ideas.
This quote is more than a clever jab at vapid aristocrats.  It illustrates a deep truth about science and knowledge in general.  To understand the world we live in requires more than just the gathering of existing opinions.  If education was nothing more than sorting and absorbing humanity’s knowledge, it would not take us beyond what we’ve already discovered.
For humanity to advance beyond itself, individuals must take it upon themselves to discover things nobody could ever teach them.  This takes a committed spirit of inquiry, and a healthy mistrust of the ideals and convictions of others.  Civil disobedience.  Suspicion.  Wonder.
Emerson was capable of conveying more insight in a simple statement than any human being I know of.  I will never stop quoting him.  But whenever I do repeat his words, I remember the above quotation, and remind myself that I should always have more to offer than only someone else’s insight.
And my favorite:

“Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today. — `Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.’ — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”

Remembering this quote has protected me from so many instances of shame and self-doubt for things I’ve said and stances I’ve taken.  One truth I keep encountering again and again is that one cannot stay the same person throughout life.  As we experience more and more, our perspectives change and consequently so do our beliefs.  Change is theunchangable state of the universe, so how could one’s beliefs stay the same throughout life?
Yet society seems to value a certain consistency of belief.  We are expected not just to share our opinions, but to be them, to swear to them as a lifelong conviction.  People proudly declare, “I am a conservative.  I am a Christian.  I am a Democrat.”  If you equate your beliefs with yourself in this way, there is no room to ever genuinely reconsider, not without an insurmountable bias towards the beliefs you’ve already embodied.  You’ll always feel a compulsion to protect those beliefs, as viscerally as if it’s your internal organs that are threatened, because you consider them to be just as much a part of you.
When someone is that afraid of being contradicted, they are no longer concerned with the truth, only with protecting their priceless investment in what they have said.  To honor a statement you made yesterday as a binding declaration of who you are is a tragic, yet extremely common mistake.  This is the fundamental error that plagues humanity: to mistake one’s ego for oneself.  Enforcing an impossible, lifelong consistency in what you say and believe can only lead to dishonesty and despair.
Someone whose opinions change freely with experience is clearly someone who is not guided by dogma or the expectations of others, but instead by a clear internal compass of inquiry and honesty.  To such a “pure and wise spirit,” it is far more important to seek the truth than to be regarded as having had it all along.  “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” said Emerson.
Whenever I feel a pang of regret for something I’ve said, I remember that all I did was speak what I thought at the time in hard words, even if today I speak different ones.  It’s only human.
***
I picked only four lines from the entire works of Emerson.  I had originally planned seven, but this post would have been too long.  There is just so much wisdom in his works, and it takes so long to digest, that I’ll spend my whole life reading and rereading it.
Emerson’s entire works are available online, for free.  Enjoy.  His essay “Self-Reliance” is a great place to begin.  Read softly and carry a big dictionary.

It has been a while since my last post. I am sitting on my jobsite working with drillers. We are building the foundations for the new Hemlock semiconductor plant to be built here in clarksville,tn. I am gearing up for BBQ Fest in memphis at the end of the week. Rebecca is about to start her summer break and she is considering going to work for a volunteer agency doing clean up from the flood innashville.

Green Tips

ZombieMe.com Free Zombie Generator

ZombieMe.com Free Zombie Generator

Shared via AddThis

Its been a minute...

Well, it has been a minute since I wrote in my blog. I have been quite busy lately with work, school starting, closing on a house, and preparing for the wedding and marriage. My work has been going well. After months of searching I found work on a construction site at a new hospital being built very near my house. The hospital is 7 floors, 4 sections, and has two buildings. I am working with a company called Blackbox. The company is pulling all telephone, communication, data, and fiber optic cable. Each floor requires many types of telecomm cable installations in almost every room. I am working 40 hours week while taking 10 hours in school. I am currently studying construction law, principles of financial management and principles of macroeconomics and a intro concrete construction class. My construction law class is online so the other three classes are in the class room at night after work.
The house Rebecca and I are trying to close on is in Mt. Juliet,Tn. The house is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1441 sq ft with a large fenced backyard in the county. The house sits near the end of a street and is about 1 mile from the nearest marina of a local lake. The lake covers portions of Davidson, Rutherford, and Wilson Counties and consists of 14,200 acres (57 km²) of water at summer pool elevation 490 feet (149 m) above mean sea level. The water is surrounded by 18,854 acres (76 km²) of public lands; 10,000 acres (40 km²) are devoted to wildlife management. We have roughly 3 weeks till closing and we are working on getting all paperwork in place.
Some House pics...

Other than those things, Rebecca and I are preparing ourselves for the marriage and wedding. We are going to pre-marriage christian counceling and we have begun talks about finances and living together. We are getting excited about the wedding but we are really trying to get as ready as one can get for the marriage. We are very excited about starting our lives together and beginning our future together.

I would like to say thankyou to everyone that has been so supportive in the last year toward me and my job and towards rebecca and I in our future plans. We have felt all your prayers and we hope you all know who you are when we say "We love you and are very grateful to have you in our life".

These are not our Leaders.

The Government thinks they are our leaders. They are not. Dont be fooled.

Go ahead, go to google and type in "MOST INFLUENCIAL PEOPLE", guess who shows up...Obama, Pelosi, Kennedy, Celebrities, and political heads. In "American Leaders" you will get all Politicians and celebrities. Google "WORLD LEADERS" and tell me it doesnt take u to the CIA's list of chiefs of states and cebinet leaders......WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.........

What about..Martin Luther King Jr., Alexander Graham Bell, Frankling Lloyd Wright, Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Donna Brazile, Jon Stewart, Colin Powell, Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, George S. Patton Jr., J.K. Rowling, Marie Curie, Dalai Lama....just to name a few.

These Bozos are going to ruin our country.

So...If they can spend ALL this money on this or that. Why can not the government hold an election day for this and every other hairbrained idea the government thinks they have the authority to rape us with. First of all, they will not take my guns. Period. Second, stop throwing money at a problem-it wont fix it. Lastly, this ObamaCare ...though I am opposed, seems to be moving way, WAY to swiftly for anyone to produce a decent program. If it MUST be passed, there needs to be months and months of contemplation and research. ok, the new healthcare crap.

Did you know that Nancy Pelosi's House Democrats, along with a handful of Republicans-in-Name-Only, are holding secret closed-door meetings in a last ditch effort to ram ObamaCare down the throats of the American people before they leave town.

You read that right... before they leave town for their summer vacation.

And what about the news reports that say ObamaCare is stalled... that there will be no legislation coming out of Congress in the foreseeable future? You really didn't believe that the politicians in Washington had given up... did you?

According to a late-breaking news report released by the Associated Press on Tuesday:

"A bipartisan group of senators is closing in on a health care compromise... as lawmakers on both sides of the Capitol labor to deliver sweeping health legislation to President Barack Obama."

And, according to an article published on The Washington Examiner's website on Tuesday:

"House Speaker Nancy Pelosi still claims that she has the votes to approve the new legislation and that a floor vote could come by Friday...."

In addition, The New York Times claims House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer is looking at keeping the House in session to pass whatever health care bill comes down the pike:

"The House Democratic leader... said it was conceivable the House might stay in session a few days longer and vote on Aug. 3 or 4."

Anthony G. Martin, in an article published by The Washington Examiner, gives perhaps the best description on what is going on right now:

"It doesn't take an enormous amount of digging to see what's going on here. The self-styled 'rulers' who now run Washington seem intent on ramming through legislation that no one has read and that even Barack Obama had great difficulty explaining... The ultra-liberal Democratic leadership, along with the 'blue dog Dems' and the RINOS (Republicans in Name Only') would like nothing better than to foist upon an unsuspecting public a multi-trillion-dollar healthcare fiasco, complete with rationing, just so they can fulfill some sort of ideological obligation in their demented, brainwashed minds that 'government must take care of ALL of the needs of the people."

It's as if we're fighting the Amnesty battle all over again. The American people, in resounding numbers, are saying "no" to ObamaCare and politicians in Washington are, for some inane reason, trying to sneak it past us anyway.

And that's not acceptable.

Let's tell these politicians in Washington that when it comes to ObamaCare, the American people don't want any so-called "compromises" made behind closed doors in the dark of night.

The system of the government seems to work by itself and without the American public. If anything lets remember a few things......

American is Good. I believe in God and He is the Center of my life. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday. The Family is sacred, my spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government. If you break the law you pay the penalty, Justice is blind and no one is above it. I have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal rights. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to....government cannont force me to be charitable. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to chare any personal opinion. The government works for me. I do not answer to them: they answer to me.
A good set of values to live by in these trying times.......Honesty, Reverance, Hope, Thrift, Humility, Charity, Sincerity, Moderation, Hard Work, Courage, and Personal Responsibility, oh yeah, and Gratitude. Peace, im out.