Top Ten: Times to be an A**hole

No.10 At a boring bachelor party

Ever been to a bachelor party where it seems like nothing is happening (nor will anything happen) because everyone in the group is being incredibly blaaaahhhh? I’m not saying every bachelor party has to be a knock-down, drunken occasion when everyone blacks out Hangover-style, but if men can’t make up their minds on simple decisions like where to eat, drink and be merry, then it’s time to act like an a**hole and kick the party into high gear. If the groom and the rest of the gaggle are going to lollygag around, you have to choose the direction for the rest of the evening. It’s time to step up and make this a night to remember -- at least for yourself.

No.9 With rude people that you have been polite to

This is an ultimate pet peeve: You may find this occurs when you go out of your way to be polite (almost overly polite) to a stranger by holding the door for longer than necessary, letting him or her cut into line with less items, or allowing another car to merge into traffic. A simple gesture of “thank you” must be given in these situations. If the person doesn’t even have the decency to give thanks for the kind gesture, then you don’t have to have the decency to let it go without making mention. Be an a**hole and call them out on it. Yell out “you’re welcome” as they pass through the door, take a couple of items off the counter when they aren’t looking, or beep the horn for however long they drive in front of your car.

No.8 When you’re getting screwed by customer service

Customer service is there to help the customer have a better user experience. Some places and customer service reps act as if they are doing people a favor by listening to complaints. Unless things get accomplished, there is no use for customer service. Always remember you’re the person that is right and that you hold the power, because in the end you can just take your money elsewhere.

No.7 When you’re getting screwed at work

If your boss is treating you like crap, sometimes it’s good for the ego to step up and defend yourself, but most of the time it will just end up hurting your career. You have to deal with jerk bosses. Where you can’t get pushed around is in situations with other coworkers. These are the people who feel they can pass along all the work just because they have seniority or because they know you’ll probably do it without making it an issue. The buck stops in your inbox. Give the work right back to them and let them know you’re not their lackey or assistant. If they have an issue, you should all have a sit-down with the boss and air it out. I’m sure that jerk would love to know the people who actually do nothing all day.

No.6 When she’s nagging you (again)

Men do have to keep up their end of the relationship. There are certain things that must be done. I’m sure there are things she does for you that she hates but she sucks it up and does them anyway (probably all sexual). You have to lend a hand around the house -- but on your own terms. Tell her you will do everything she wants, but when you have the time, energy and, frankly, when there's nothing else better to do. And you'll do it. Just at your own pace. Tell her it will get done, but the more she busts your chops about it, the more you’ll put it off. Of course that doesn’t make sense. We are men. Who said our thinking made sense?

No.5 When someone is talking behind your back

Talk is cheap. So are boots with straps. I just looked it up. People are always going to gossip (even a**holes), but when people are saying negative things behind your back that are actually negatively affecting your life, it’s time to put a stop to the noise. Confront the person face-to-face. Tell them you want to air out your differences and come to some type of understanding about this situation. Of course they will probably deny ever saying anything, but at least now they know you’ve got wind of the words flying around and you’re not going to let it happen again.

No.4 When no one else is stepping up

In many situations, people just refuse to step up and say how everyone else is feeling (this is a bigger moment than the bachelor party scenario). It’s your job to be the a**hole and take charge. If it’s at work, call a meeting to talk to management on behalf of the staff. If it’s in your personal life, talk for the people who refuse to use their voice. An a**hole always stands up and leads. Don’t let anyone else do the talking for you.

No.3 With your deadbeat friend

Everyone has that friend who’s been in their life for years. Over time, things and people change, but sometimes people continue to hang on to relationships that really no longer serve a purpose. People are especially prone to keeping connected to friends who are incredible emotional, physical and sometimes financial drains. Time to cut ties and let the deadbeat know you’re no longer going to be an enabler or a friend. Wish them well with no hard feelings, and go your separate ways.

No.2 In divorce court

When the marriage hits the skids and it’s time to divvy up the goods, men usually get the raw deal. If it’s a guy’s fault that the relationship is heading for divorce (meaning he cheated), then he’s just going to have to live with the decision. If both partners are to blame, then there is no reason to make too many concessions. You’ve earned everything you have, and you’ve earned the right to fight for it. If she isn’t willing to do things amicably, then you have to be the biggest a**hole you could possibly be.

No.1 With another asshole

It’s a face-off: a**hole versus a**hole. Sounds like the hype around a UFC fight on pay-per-view. Actually, it’s very possible in any of the above situations to come face-to-face with another a**hole. It’s always vital in these situations to come out on top. This is probably the most important chapter in the book.


The way to handle another a**hole is actually rather simple: You’ve just got to... buy the book! It's on page 168. I can’t tell people for free. I’m an a**hole, but I’m not an idiot.
 from Askmen.com